you knw who you are… personal blog… READ IT!



10:51 pm..

i write only whats on my mind,i write what i feeel and right now…. i want to tell everyone how its crazy how we see ourselves, how we judge ourselves, seek our souls and then feel guilty, cuz where never satisfied. its unfair, im a soldier, i fight. and never giveup. i strive and get driven by idiots who think theres super heroes.. i get driven by morons who think they no it all, but they just bullshit, i know how it is… i know how My life is.. and its..sad…pathetic, lonely and cold. depressed every night, and seeeks someone to talk too but trusts no-one…but i am strong. i put up a guard that no one can break down…yet in a wierd way.. i want someone to break down the bricks ..  tear em down and throw each brick at the wall so they break into a million pieces..and they watch me falll, fall to the floor  and fall asleeeepp.. asleep into vulnerability, i want you to see me as i am… this is me…. quite alone and afraid, but if you show and give suppport and love and stay wit me for 5 minsss i will be show you the time of your life… i am someone who youd love to be with spontaneous, jumping out of bushes and spooking you i lye next too you, tell you i misss you every second ..even though ive seeen you for 7 days straight,, tell you how i think you have the most beautiful body in the worlld and i wuldnt chnage it for a thing… knowing id love to lose 10 lbs mysself and would try n starve for  a day and find perfection…. even though- thats what i seee.. when i look into your eyes… its hard finding peace in myself…. but you… you seee it in me… you seee me behind the wall . that i  cant desperately breaak down,,, behind that walll.. is a saphire… that you seee… and i still neeed to seeek and appreciate…….life is somthing so short and we be-little the fact how we could lose it so fast… but we dont realize it. and why? why do we put so much unecessary pressure on our -selves and for what? more money? better life? bigger house? 2 cocktail with beautiful people?…(who use to be ugly..but chang chang helps evryone$$$) its time to better our -selves.. i know you want to do that… i know i doo… we all have sins and guilt for so many things and terrible things we’d never think we would of done,,, but thats life.. we never know whats going to isnt always beautiful..but when it is… youlll knw and youlll see it and feeel…. could happen anywhere at any time… is really quite beautiful…. something someone would think is so insignificant.. to you could be soo fucking beautilful.. and youlll knw it… like driving in your on your way to work… trffic… horns.. driving 30 kms ina 60 zone.. and you look into your side view drivers mirror.. and see the orange- set yellowish sunrise creeeping up and silhouetted birds fly by….and your favorite song is on… and at that moment you forget all the worries and traffic rage and suddenly totally oblivious that your 5 mins late for work already… thats when …(i) APPREciate the smalls things…. i always  take for granted….. ..and i hate…. i am a believer…..i jsut neeed ppl to beleive in me.. or have that someone .. to loook too… its hard and yu know it… its hard doing it all alone……. suicice…..option> maybe…..we all had thoughts.. maybe attempts… just you know who you are … and dont do it……just fall asleeep …and when you wake up.. maybe youll realize..”what was i thikning?” or maybe  while walking to work.. someone.. will walk by you and a total strange will smile at you.. and that one person not knwoing what they did… could totoally chnage the way u see life.. and change your perspective on life….. just never give up on yourself.. its the worse thing you could doo…..cuz i beleive in you….ive beeen through so many attempts and fails.. its sad and deppressing,,, but no one on earth would even think that i could be that person… im cryptic… but i seee happiness and escape in everyone… no one neeed to be alne or should be……theres always a way… just wait a day.. or even 5 mins.. becuase you never know or what could chnge you life in seconds maybe days… but smethings out there .. that will chnge us… dont be stubborn….dont let your crazyy head… be-little your heart… your heart and soul knows the truth… just listen… pay attention… becuasse…. if it was me… id love to help you,,,, im still helping myself….with no-one… maybe you can reply back to me…. for a moment… i thought everything could and can be fine…. blogging…becomes soo naturall… …so what do you think/ can u reply bak to me with thought on anything about life? a response back to how u feeel about this? or do u have your own perspective one things….i want to listen.. im here… im here for you….


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